My First Love - My Dad

 

My First Love - My Dad

 

 

One of my best friends is about to lose her father to cancer and I wish there was something I could say to her that would help take away the immense pain she's about to experience. The truth is there is nothing that can take that horrible feeling away of losing your first love.

 

 

As a little girl my grandfather was my favorite person to be around. He and my grandmother had adopted me raising me as their daughter. I can say with certainty now that I've grown up that they were the best parents. When I was growing up I was a daddy's girl or I guess a grand daddy's girl. I followed my grandfather around everywhere and was determined to do anything to make him proud. He taught me how to play chess, and told me to follow my dreams no matter the cost. He was always there when I needed someone to talk to and gave me some of the greatest advice. He was my first love. He was the best man I've ever known and probably will ever know. He was my dad.

 

That word dad - means so much more to me now that he has passed away. There were times where I thought I hated him because he told me I couldn't date a particular boy or couldn't wear a short skirt. There where times he disappointed me, because he smoked when he was told not to by doctors. Then there was a moment where I hated him and loved him all at once. It was in a small room, with a single bed where he lay dying. There my dad was dying! I was fourteen, he was only in his fifties and he was leaving me alone in this world. All those promises he had made, to be at my graduation, to walk me down the aisle he was breaking them all. My dad never broke promises. I hated him for dying and yet I was overwhelmed by love because even in the moments before his death my dad was loving. He smiled at me as I whispered hatreds and complaints, he held me, he comforted me. Here my father was dying and he was still being a dad.

 

 

It's been 8 years since he passed away and it still hurts as much today as it did then when I think about it. I don't think it will ever not hurt but I'm okay with that because hurting reminds me that I had a dad worth hurting over. So I may not have my dad by my side to walk me down the aisle and neither will my friend but at least we had dads who were heroes. Dad's who loved us with all of their heart. So to all of you who still have your dad around I encourage you to love him as much as you can now. One day he won't be here and you'll always wish you had just one more moment.

 

 

To all the great dads in the world thank you! Thank you for being our heroes and our first loves!

 

 

 

I will always love you dad!

 

-Maggie V.