If you met me on the street you might say to yourself that girl is happy and you wouldn't be wrong. However... it took me a long time to get where I am today. In my book Life Through Shadowed Eyes you will find a lot of pain and loss because that was my life for the majority of my childhood. I came from a tumultuous background. A drug addicted mother and an abusive father. I struggled with a lot of terrible things as a child and often times my poetry reflects those feelings.
One thing to remember when reading my poetry is that even though it may seem dark and without hope it is the complete opposite. For me writing poetry was my only hope of sorting through my feelings and growing into a stronger person. In a lot of my earlier work I am completely lost. I was a guarded child and did not easily discuss my troubles so instead I wrote them down. Poetry for me is therapeutic which is why it often times seems sorrowful. However, in poems like "Freedom For The Caged" or "My Strength" you will find hope rising.
"The chains begin to fall
As your words are spoken
Never could I imagine
One could love the broken"
This is the last stanza of "Freedom For The Caged" which to me is my favorite poem I've written. In this poem I am finally realizing that I can love and be loved without fear. That was a very important milestone for me as a young adult. Growing up with my parents made me think of myself as worthless until one day I realized that it wasn't me who was worthless it was the way they treated me that was worthless. It was worthless to hate myself because of how my parents chose to treat their daughter. And so I became a stronger person. That is what Life Through Shadowed Eyes is trying to convey. The fact that life can be full of pain and loss but it can also be full of love and hope. To me that is the point of life to grow from the painful memories and become a more loving individual because of them.
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